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Ebony

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My dog Ebony passed away today at 8:00pm EDT (Thursday, June 21, 2007). He was sixteen years old.

He lived a very well documented life. Natasha rescued him from being drowned along with the rest of his brothers and sisters when he was a month old, and bottle fed him until he was old enough to eat food on his own.

It took me a long time to get him acclimated to me, since he never really had to get used to anyone, but I played the guitar and sang to him every day until he accepted me. From that day on, he used to sleep next to me or at my feet and guarded me as though his life depended on it.

I promised him that I wouldn’t let him die alone, since I figured that the most awful thing for anyone would be to die alone. In April he was diagnosed with terminal meta-static tumors. One nice veterinarian suggested that since he wasn’t in pain, I should just bring him home and let him live out the rest of his life until he died peacefully. Today he didn’t eat or drink at all, and collapsed after I carried him in from the outdoors. He bled out and died in my arms; I pet his head the whole time.

Its often said that everyone thinks that their pet is special, or that their pet has some amazing personality. Ebony was a very unique dog, and did touch all those with whom he came in contact. Stan is beside himself, and can’t figure out what’s wrong. He keeps looking for Ebony, but can’t find him. I wonder if he has any concept of mortality, or could understand that he’s never going to see him again.

Ebony wasn’t judgmental like most people or animals, but seemed to know whether or not a person was capable of good things, and measured them by that. I wish most people were as wonderful and understanding as he was. Every time I wonder if knowing people or having pets is worth the pain of loss and death, I remember the moments he gave me with no quarter. I can’t regret something as wonderful as him, no matter how painful the end, no matter how hard I cry.

I have never been in the room when any person or animal has died ; I always made sure that I was somewhere else, since I didn’t think I would be able to handle it. Ebony went very gracefully, and looked almost peaceful. I shut his eyes for him when I got up to cover him.

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