The God Bullshit Part Two

The last time I was ranting, it was about the joke that is the current seperation between church and state. But I think it’s time to take a look at the other part of this mess — us.

“People of faith” seems to be a term which is bandied about an awful lot, which is meant to convey to other people that Jeebus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or your multi-armed deity of choice, is watching over them, and is ready to smite at a moment’s notice. Seems to be more Jeebus’s guys, since they’re the most prevalent in America right now, strangely followed by secular people (but not very closely).

I was under the impression for a very long time that religion was supposed to be some sort of special moral code, to keep people living a good life and being nice to other people. A rabbi in an old story said all of their religious teachings could be summed up in the golden rule. You know, treat other people the way you’d like to be treated. Doesn’t exactly take nailing some guy to a piece of wood to figure that out.

The disparity I see seems to be that, while the majority of Americans identify themselves as being some variety of Jeebus’s flock, at least half of the voting ones seem to vote Republican. And as we all know by the teachings of Supply Side Jesus, the guy these people follow would be tarred and feathered by the modern day Republican party. So what gives here?

The most rational explanation that I’ve been given has to do with abortion. (Oh noes! Killing teh babies!) Republicans have more or less taken the let God sort ‘em out sort of way. Who gives a shit if you’re raped? Just pop ‘em out, they’ll add to the flock… I’m sure all of this works just as well as abstinence only education and that albatross of “intelligent design”. Apparently church-goers originally leaned towards the Democratic party, with their platform of social responsibility and, you know, caring for their fellow man. But around the time of the Vietnam War, the Republican party said “if you’re not with us, you’re for killing babies.” And pastors and ministers flocked like the sheep they are to a party which offered them no more than disapproving of abortion.

And here’s where it gets interesting…. Because of this, Republicans don’t want abortion to go away. It’s one of the few things with which they can keep their “flock” of loyal Jeebus-ites at bay.


And then there’s Gay marriage. For some reason, these bible thumpers think it’s an an anathema to let other people do what they want to do. No babies are harmed, or anything…. what gives on that one? There’s some very strong social stigma (at least among males in America) to strongly dislike gay men (but openly want to watch gay women going at it, go figure), probably under the auspices that unless you *hate* gay people, they might turn you gay. I would use the example that someone can no more choose to be gay than they could choose to be black, but apparently we used to hate black people and think them inferior too. Hold on, was that backed by Jeebus’s folks as well?

Look guys, your bearded savior was one of my people. You know, a jew. Somehow, this keeps getting lost when the debates come up. Not only was he Jewish, but he also was a socialist. Funny that. So, when you’re about to go into the voting booth, think about that poor Jewish guy tacked on a cross around your neck, and remember that he’s crying about you fucking the ideals that he got nailed there for in the first place. Then don’t vote for the schmuck (you know, a dud is a dud, no matter how many POW camps he’s been in). It’s pretty simple, America, and even though you’ve shown me how stupid you can be, I’d hope that you can get it right this time. Don’t get distracted by shiny objects or colorful pictures, think about the crying Jewish guy around your neck.